"It is as if I had been going downhill while I thought I was going up. And that is really what it was. I was going up in public opinion, but to the same extent life was ebbing away from me. And now it is all done and there is only death... But how could this be, when I did everything properly."
So many times in life we compare ourselves to others and try to fit in with our peers. Yes, even you who think you're individualists. You try to be original because you observed someone else who was, and you admired them. Sorry, you're not exempt. But anyway, our society is obsessed with climbing social ladders and although we don't have distinct class separation like some countries, no one can deny that there is evidence of de facto segregation between classes, and those put in the limelight, with everyone wishing they were at least one rung higher. Unfortunately for Ivan Ilyich, he didn't realize how meaningless these material pursuits were until he was on his death bed, and could only watch as his friends and family continued down this path towards his same fate. Living "properly" by the world's standard doesn't not ensure true happiness in life.
I like that you pointed that out. We often try to pursue material gain even when we know that it will eventually rot. It's only when we take a step back from the rat race and look at it from the outside that we realize that it is all futile. Isn't there a book of the Bible that deals with that very same topic? ;-)
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