Only the Strong Survive

"If God sends us on strong paths, we are provided strong shoes."
-Corrie Ten Boom

I planned on commenting on Bonhoeffer's The Cost of Discipleship because so far I have really enjoyed it and I can tell it will continue to shape my faith much in the way C.S. Lewis' Mere Christianity has. However, I am bound against my will to Silence, which is to say I have found myself tied to a post and forced to face the crushing black waves of life in such a way that I have no choice but to recomment on Endo's seminal masterpiece. One of the major conflicts in the novel, and I mentioned this in class yesterday, is between the idea that there are strong people and weak people, which in this case is Rodrigues and Kichijiro, respectively. Rodrigues, knowing that death faces him at any moment, forces himself to be strong and resolute with the sort of naivety and blind courage only a missionary can muster, because he knows that when he is captured he must not allow himself to break or he will apostasize and, in his mind, betray God and the Church he loves so dearly. Kichijiro, on the other hand, has no such commitments and lives sort of as a drifter, allowing himself to be susceptible to bribery and aggressive persuasion. As a result, he cracks easily and apostatiszes several times, causing him to repeatedly return to Rodrigues for absolvement, whereas Rodrigues himself only breaks when he hears God himself speak and when he realizes that he can no longer allow other people to suffer and die because of him.

So when and why should a man be strong? Is a man born with fortitude and conviction, or must he find such things from an outside source? Is it possible that God puts us in situations where we know we cannot stand on our own and can only be victorious if we turn to him. Oh, sure, we can survive something on our own merits, but there's a fine line between survival and conquest and I believe God offers us the latter. I bring this up because I too struggle with weakness and strength in my own actions and self perception. I like to believe that I can't be bent beyond my limits, so I take on things thinking I will succeed regardless. I also like to think that I can always be fearless and always stand firm and resolute no matter what, and I have always cited the Holy Spirit as the source of my strength. There are certain times, however, and today was one of them, where that breaks down completely and I realize how vulnerable and how weak I can truly be.

It's that point where you realize how little control of your circumstances you have, and all you can control is your reaction to it, especially in regards to the Lord. For example, today I could have let myself bend under stress when filming started to temporarily derail, but I found my composure in the Lord and His blessings, and I realized that, much like Rodrigues, I am not control, nor am I truly strong, but neither am I weak. I am called to seek justice, love mercy, and walk humbly with God, and I have to leave control to Him and do what I know I have to do. Rodrigues had to face that realization in the "trample" scene-he had to make a choice, and he knew that if the grace of God was anywhere near as powerful as he proclaimed it was, he knew it would likewise cover him. Yes, to save the lives of those that were lost, Jesus would have (and He did) laid down His life-we don't need to be strong, nor are we bound to weakness. We are strong against the trials and temptations of this life, but weak in His prescence so that He may be glorified.

Thank you for reading, feel free to comment as you please, I commented on Josh Spell's Samurai Vs. Catholics.