Self Love?

I was sitting in my comfy chair reading Kierkegaard. Lucy was in her chair too. We were reading for honors. It was an average night other than the fact that our minds were being blown away by a man whose name begins with a “K”. We were enjoying ourselves as we groaned at the brain bending beauty of Kierkegaard’s Works of Love. It is so good! Lucy would say emphatically. I was “hmm”-ing at an average of every two words. Then I said, “Huh?”

I came upon the part in which Kierkegaard was speaking of self-love. Kierkegaard says that you must love your neighbor as you love yourself. We’ve all heard this right? However, you could take its meaning multiple ways. There are two specifically that I’ve e heard throughout my life at churches or camps, or conferences. One, you can take it at surface value. This is the kindergarten Sunday school version. “Would you want tommy to hit you? No. So you shouldn’t hit.” Or, “If you think you would want a cookie, Susie probably wants one too. Shouldn’t you give her one?” Another approach is one given at many girls’ conferences. It is a statement about self-confidence. You can’t love others until you love yourself. I believe this to be true.

This is what blew my mind. Kierkegaard says, “To love yourself in the right way and to love the neighbor correspond perfectly to one another; fundamentally they are one and the same thing.” Do you ever feel like your bubble has burst? If there was glass in my brain I’m pretty sure the glass would have shattered after this reading.

I was raised a good girl, in a good church that told me to serve others. I always thought I should love others more than myself. Now I am confused. I see this statement as if Kierkegaard implies the as in “as yourself,” is the same thing as an equals sign.

Love your neighbor as you love yourself Love your neighbor = love yourself

Love yourself as you love your neighbor Love yourself = Love your neighbor

This leads me to think that you should love yourself as you would love someone else. You should give care to yourself like you would care for someone else. I believe this, but even still I feel like it is a little selfish. Have I been raised in a non-genuine piety that has no substance because it gains its energy from the wrong source? You cannot heal others until you are healed. In the same way you cannot love others until you have loved and nourished yourself in the love that Christ our Lord has to offer. This has been a point of growth for me this semester. Often we focus so much on others that we tend to wear ourselves out, and lose all our energy. This is a struggle for me. Oh if I could only learn to balance this! Kierkegaard makes me think that this journey to find this balance is what life is about. Life is growing in God, so that we can grow ourselves, so that love for our neighbor will harvest inside of us.