Supposed to Suffer?

The night before honors, I was talking with Talmage in another class I have with him, and I made the comment that I "enjoyed" the reading. He looked at me funny in his Talmage way, eyes wide and mouth slightly agape, and said, "I can't say that I agree. I wouldn't say I enjoy this reading..." Realizing what I had said about the material, I had to backtrack. So, do not take me for one of the sadists that we read about in Frankl, but hear me out...or read me out.

I did "enjoy" the reading, or like the reading...whichever you prefer to use. I learned a lot. And after watching Twitter updates and Facebook updates, I felt like I was the only one that felt this way. Maybe I am emotionally incapable of feeling what I am reading, though I doubt this is the case. I cannot say that I suffered while reading it. Truly, it makes me sad. I see what is before me, the pictures are clearly in my mind. But it does not cripple me, it does not leave me hopeless. Yet I still felt somehow guilty that I had not suffered while reading this while so many did.

But the fact of the matter is, even Frankl writes in a way that he seems almost distant from it himself, at least emotionally. I believe this is a coping mechanism once more. I believe this book is one of his final acts of reconciling the past. He has come to the point that he can write about his experiences objectively, but I believe that is because he has approached a new meaning by the time he writes this.

I have spent a lot of time in 1 Peter here lately. He speaks on love and suffering in a big way, in ways I cannot explain, but ways I have been able to share with others. I cannot explain it, you would have to read it for yourself. But I am not hopeless, I am encouraged. Reading about the drive people had in their circumstances--circumstances I may never know, it gives me hope in a strange way. Man's Search for Meaning furthered some lessons I have been learning, not studying. And learning means something to me, far more than any amount of study will. Yes, there is a difference.

COMMENTED ON RACHEL'S